First port of call for many seasoned festival goers, Ranger will keep you dry,comfortable and safe, “somewhere in a field in Hampshire”.
Grab wellies for under £12. Ponchos to keep you dry and give you something dry to sit on starting at under a fiver. Or cheap waterproofs, jackets start at £13.99.
Woolly Pullys will keep you snug and warm. For only £11.99 you can get a virgin wool army pullover which looks good and will keep you comfy.
Don’t forget a decent sleeping bag. The nights get cold even in summer. Our bags compress down for easy transportation and they perform! We won’t send you off with something pathetic. Prices start at under £20 but you should be prepared to spend at least £25 for something worthwhile or endure the consequences.
We have solid fuel hexi stoves at £3.99, at some festivals like Download, the only type of stove permissible. And there are army rations as a back up, which will always guarantee you a nourishing meal.
And finally, to avoid any unnecessary unpleasantness, we stock the innovative Shewee, which, temporarily we’re glad to say, turns a woman into a man! A tremendously popular accessory at festivals.
Phone 0208 399 9995 or e mail firstname.lastname@example.org